Tiny person smartassery
As I sit here in my chair, procrastinating on writing the paragraph I'm supposed to be coming up with for class, I thought you know what sounds good? Writing a new post sounds good. If I write a new post I can write whatever I want and I'm not limited to some topic the teacher gave me... ignoring, of course, the small detail that the teacher gave us free reign to write a paragraph about whatever we wanted. Complete freedom, the world is our oyster. So naturally instead of doing that, I'm writing whatever I want here. Because. Of reasons.
I don't know why I'm procrastinating on it really, I love to write, I could knock this out in a couple of minutes if I wanted to... especially considering I've already actually written the paragraph out all I actually have to do is type it up and print it out. Officially no excuse to not be doing it, and yet, here I sit. Listening to Connor sit in his boppy pillow playing with his little leap frog cellphone doo-dad that is completely unapologetic for singing "1-2-3 thanks for calling me, 3-2-1 say goodbye and we're done" over and over. And over. Annnnndddd over. And over and over again. And listening to Kenzie... sit on the couch trying to figure out hot to take bites out of things now that she's missing her two front teeth, and being a total and complete smartass! Which I get upset with her about but in my head cannot help but realize that she's saying the exact same things that I would have been saying if I were sitting there. I don't remember giving her permission to talk like a tiny version of me yet though.
Kenzie: Can I pick out something to watch?
Me: No... I'm trying to do homework.
No you're not, you're probably on facebook.
I am not on facebook! *Closes the facebook tab* Don't you have homework?
No. But if I did I'd actually be doing it.
Watch it child, I'm your mother, I'm the one that taught you how to be a punk, you're not allowed to use it on me.
Well can I pick out something to watch?
No. Everything you want to watch makes my ears bleed.
Well you could just not listen to it. Because you're doing homework.
No.
Well then can you put on something for Connor and me to watch?
No. We're going to watch what I want to watch for a change.
Don't you watch what you want to watch all day?
.... No. Except for when I'm pretending to fold clothes and am actually watching vampire diaries. Or when Connor's taking a bottle... because what else am I going to do during that 30 minutes? Or when the t.v. is pretty much on all day long while I run around the house. ... ... But from 7 a.m. to noon it's all PBS cartoons for background noise during Connors morning bottles and playtime! This is not the point, it's my t.v. dammit. I do a lot of stuff during the day child I don't get to just sit here and watch t.v. all day.
Ummmm you know you're on Hulu right? Not Netflix?
..Yeah... I know... I have the controller what makes you think I wouldn't know that?
I dunno, cuz you're old and old people don't see very well so I thought you hit the wrong button.
Utter heartache rips through me and makes my head explode.
I am not old!
You're older than me.
That does not make me old! It's ok ego, we are not old. We are still in our 20's and in the prime of life. For 9 more months. And then we'll be 29 again for a second year :) and then maybe the year after that for my birthday we'll turn 28 again and we can just cycle between 26 and 29 for the rest of my life and... oh... the child is still talking to me.
Well I'm bored. What am I going to do?
Why don't you play with something in your room full of toys that you constantly beg me not to give away to more deserving children who would actually be grateful to have toys and not just let them sit in their room collecting dust.
Fiiiiiine. *big heavy sigh*
It's not a punishment child! It's playing with your toys! Toys you picked out and asked for! At some point everything in that room is something you really just couldn't live without! You actually told me you would die if you didn't get that effing Rapunzel doll, play with her!
Well it's hard to play in my room because - she stopped short and suddenly here because she realized the trap she was setting up for herself, but alas it was too late, I had my opportunity!
BECAUSE IT'S TOO MESSY!!!! I am feeling entirely too triumphant right now. It's messy! because yoooouuuuu never pick up when you're done playing with something else. You know you coooouulllld go clean your room then it would be fun to play in their again!
No words from the child she just gets up off the couch grabs her giant basket of dolls and drags it into the living room and starts playing. I can't decide if this is a win or not, but I did decide to just turn the t.v. off. Because you know.. I'm doing homework.
Don't judge me, it'll get done. And I am not old.
I don't know why I'm procrastinating on it really, I love to write, I could knock this out in a couple of minutes if I wanted to... especially considering I've already actually written the paragraph out all I actually have to do is type it up and print it out. Officially no excuse to not be doing it, and yet, here I sit. Listening to Connor sit in his boppy pillow playing with his little leap frog cellphone doo-dad that is completely unapologetic for singing "1-2-3 thanks for calling me, 3-2-1 say goodbye and we're done" over and over. And over. Annnnndddd over. And over and over again. And listening to Kenzie... sit on the couch trying to figure out hot to take bites out of things now that she's missing her two front teeth, and being a total and complete smartass! Which I get upset with her about but in my head cannot help but realize that she's saying the exact same things that I would have been saying if I were sitting there. I don't remember giving her permission to talk like a tiny version of me yet though.
Kenzie: Can I pick out something to watch?
Me: No... I'm trying to do homework.
No you're not, you're probably on facebook.
I am not on facebook! *Closes the facebook tab* Don't you have homework?
No. But if I did I'd actually be doing it.
Watch it child, I'm your mother, I'm the one that taught you how to be a punk, you're not allowed to use it on me.
Well can I pick out something to watch?
No. Everything you want to watch makes my ears bleed.
Well you could just not listen to it. Because you're doing homework.
No.
Well then can you put on something for Connor and me to watch?
No. We're going to watch what I want to watch for a change.
Don't you watch what you want to watch all day?
.... No. Except for when I'm pretending to fold clothes and am actually watching vampire diaries. Or when Connor's taking a bottle... because what else am I going to do during that 30 minutes? Or when the t.v. is pretty much on all day long while I run around the house. ... ... But from 7 a.m. to noon it's all PBS cartoons for background noise during Connors morning bottles and playtime! This is not the point, it's my t.v. dammit. I do a lot of stuff during the day child I don't get to just sit here and watch t.v. all day.
Ummmm you know you're on Hulu right? Not Netflix?
..Yeah... I know... I have the controller what makes you think I wouldn't know that?
I dunno, cuz you're old and old people don't see very well so I thought you hit the wrong button.
Utter heartache rips through me and makes my head explode.
I am not old!
You're older than me.
That does not make me old! It's ok ego, we are not old. We are still in our 20's and in the prime of life. For 9 more months. And then we'll be 29 again for a second year :) and then maybe the year after that for my birthday we'll turn 28 again and we can just cycle between 26 and 29 for the rest of my life and... oh... the child is still talking to me.
Well I'm bored. What am I going to do?
Why don't you play with something in your room full of toys that you constantly beg me not to give away to more deserving children who would actually be grateful to have toys and not just let them sit in their room collecting dust.
Fiiiiiine. *big heavy sigh*
It's not a punishment child! It's playing with your toys! Toys you picked out and asked for! At some point everything in that room is something you really just couldn't live without! You actually told me you would die if you didn't get that effing Rapunzel doll, play with her!
Well it's hard to play in my room because - she stopped short and suddenly here because she realized the trap she was setting up for herself, but alas it was too late, I had my opportunity!
BECAUSE IT'S TOO MESSY!!!! I am feeling entirely too triumphant right now. It's messy! because yoooouuuuu never pick up when you're done playing with something else. You know you coooouulllld go clean your room then it would be fun to play in their again!
No words from the child she just gets up off the couch grabs her giant basket of dolls and drags it into the living room and starts playing. I can't decide if this is a win or not, but I did decide to just turn the t.v. off. Because you know.. I'm doing homework.
Don't judge me, it'll get done. And I am not old.