Secrets about being pregnant nobody wants to tell you... AKA the incredibly TMI post.

So there's a multitude of factoids and books and guides out there to being pregnant and what to expect and feel and do.... and if you dig deep enough you will learn everything you need to know... but it's still just not quite the same as being reassured that somewhere,  some other pregnant lady, did walk into the bathroom just like you just did and spend 20 horrible awkward minutes trying to poop with a 50/50 shot of being successful at such a task, while staring at her underwear wondering what the hell that wierd looking stuff was and if it was something she should ask about at her next checkup but omg how embarrassing and god hopefully that comes out in the washer.
Yeah. For real. Where's the book that covers how to deal with that?
Pregnancy is absolutely beautiful.  Except when it's not. Because as much fun as the cute belly pictures and baby flutters in your belly and glowing skin can be... There is a lot of other stuff that happens too that falls drastically short of being beautiful and if you're anything like me...you can't help but wonder if anyone else is dealing with it. They are. And it's only talked about when some other lady is brave enough to bring it up first and then it's flood gates open full steam ahead to TMIville.

My pregnancy with Kenzie was a pretty sugarfree version of being pregnant, I only gained about 15 lbs, I didn't deal with the swollen feet or the pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, I also didn't have the gall bladder issues that I have now, I got a few stretch marks and some heartburn and then poof there was a baby and about 3 weeks later(one of those weeks kind of a roller coaster of baby blues and learning how to take care of a new born) I was back to pre-pregnancy weight and clothes. This time around... things have been pretty different.  So here's some of the things anybody not pregnant or not actively trying to get that way probably won't want to hear, but.. I don't care. 
  1. Starting off light, your belly button actually does pop out. And it looks and feels super weird. And you start to notice literally every hair follicle on your belly.
  2.  Going to the bathroom is hard.  Drinking water helps. And I don't mean have a glass of water and assume you'll sit down and have sudden relief.. you need to drink a lot, A Lot, of water. And that is harder to do than you think it's going to be. First of all, drinking that much water definitely helps with going the ol #2 but it also makes you feel like you're carrying a water cooler around in your stomach.... sometimes I think I can hear my belly go splish splash splash while I'm walking, secondly you will be running to the bathroom every 20 minutes to pee and that gets old fast. Lastly, after awhile, you just kind of don't want to drink anymore water, the thought of having one more glass of water literally makes you want to barf. I think all of us have a moment of super momness where we say I'm gonna eat super healthy! No fat! No unhealthy snacks! I'm gonna work out! All things healthy a-go-go! Lol and some moms actually pull this off and do great and I have great respect for them. I, however, completely fold to the 11pm cravings for an entire box of Oreos. And ice cream. Ice cream all the time. Oreo ice cream is like heaven.
  3.  You will start getting really irritated with everyone asking when you're due. "When you finally going to pop!?" Well that depends I'm going to pop you in the head in about 3 seconds, you just asked me the same question yesterday! Nothings changed since then!.. sigh. They have good intentions.  People love pregnant ladies. Especially happy pregnant ladies. So it's important to remind yourself that they're just trying to find a way to share in your joy and that's the most readily available way to connect with you. Forgive them. I like to smile politely and tell them one more time when I'm due and then when they're walking away I squish them between my fingers lol
  4.  ... or possibly 3.5, you'll also start to get grumpy with everyone telling you what to do. Or rather what not to do. For real... I can lift the trash bag myself. I'm pregnant, not disabled , and contrary to popular belief (it's in the books and everything look it up!) Every single thing you do is not going to hurt the baby or send you into early labor.
  5.  But you will long for a little extra help when you drop something, because bending all the way to the ground is a bitch. ESPECIALLY when,
  6.  Your feet swell. Ohhhh boy do they swell. And everyone will point that out to you like you don't know. And then they'll go "man doesn't that hurt!?" ... nope, they actually swell to pillow step mode and it's like walking on clouds. YES, it is uncomfortable. YES, I'm a tad self conscious about how they look. NO, I don't actually need you to point out how they look, they're attached to me, I know. Trust me.
  7.  In addition to the other things stacking up that are getting on your nerves, the phrase "you're not fat, you're pregnant" will actually start bothering you. Because it's true. And you know that. But that really doesn't stop you from feeling fat. Sometimes it's just hard to see clothes that used make you feel good suddenly looking a tad bit like a mumu.
**Let me pause for a second here and say despite how it sounds, I am so thrilled about being pregnant and expecting our little giant and this time around with the whole thing being slightly more planned than my first and things going so well I couldn't be happier,  and there are some incredibly magic moments when I feel him wiggle around in my tummy and just go awwwww and melt. But there's also a lot of things that at 36 weeks I'm just kind of over... I'm ready for little guy to just be here live and in color giggling and smiling and crying and cooing.**
  8.  Discomfort will become the new normal, and it will make you emotional at very weird times. I've spent the last 3 night sleeping in the recliner in the living room because it's the only way I can get comfy long enough to fall asleep for an hour before I have to wake up and pee again and it's taking its toll. If I try to lay down on our bed, even on my sides, I can't breathe lol, its kind of a weird creeping feeling and then my whole face gets a little warm kinda like when you blush, and then all of a sudden it's like heyyyy I could use some more air, and I have to sit straight up and take some deep breaths for a while.
  9.  And when that's not happening,  I've been getting these weird heart flutterings that make me all tense and once or twice now have made my tummy go PUSH! And the rest of me go wait what No pushing why are we pushing!? And then I'm left feeling a little jittery for a few minutes.
  10.  And throughout all of this, when you ask your doctor about what's happening as long as your BP is normal they pretty much tell you no worries.

So you know... lol there's some things. Do they all happen to everyone?  Nope. Like I said my first time around I didn't experience any of this. And there's probably even more stuff happening to other women that I'm not even going through that they're going crazy because of, I'm lucky enough to avoid the crazy emotional mood swings that you frequently hear husbands and boyfriends complain about, which I am incredibly grateful for. Maybe this time in a few weeks when the big day comes, I'll actually be able to start labor on my own without being induced! That would be kind of neat I can't lie. But I'm not holding my breath, we'll just have to see.

Kenzie took a belly picture for me today and I thought it would be fun to put it up along with some of my favorite little things we've got so far for our little giant. :)