2018 Goals
So, January is just about over, and, much like every other
person desperate for a miracle to occur that will help them change their life,
I’ve made some goals for myself this year.
In lieu of miracles, the things I would like to achieve
this year aren’t anything that I feel will be incredibly unattainable, but they
are things I haven’t managed to accomplish yet after 32 years of being alive,
so let’s see if maybe I can make one or two of come to fruition before I turn
33.
1. At the
top of my list is losing weight. Why? Because I have a surplus of it, and I’d
like to… not. I gained a lot of weight a few years ago when I was pregnant with
my son, and then I managed to lose all of it and then some for a *very* short period of time, and then it was
like it came back with a vengeance. Being a stay at home mom has definitely
proved to not be the healthiest lifestyle change I’ve made, I hate working out.
I want to be a person that likes to work out and says ridiculous things like “oh
man I’m so hooked on yoga” but I’m just fucking not ok - I hate working out, I
hate being sweaty, I hate being around other people working out constantly
wondering if I’m the only person that has no fucking clue what they’re doing,
and I hate how hyper-aware I become of how much weight I haven’t instantly
magically lost. The constant access to my kitchen as well as the lack of easily
accessible/kid friendly outdoor activities since we live in the middle of nowhere,
makes losing weight even harder once it’s on, BUT, in an attempt to not be so negative,
I’ll say that I manage to put ON weight like a fucking champion.
2. In
somewhat direct correlation with the first goal, is to do more things outside/at
social places with my kids. You would think that living in the middle of
nowhere would afford me unlimited opportunities to do shit outside with them,
but it does not. Our yard isn’t exactly stroller friendly, and we have a family
of mole-rat things living underground that are hellbent on destroying us one
twisted ankle at a time, as well as dogs that are allowed free reign of the backyard
area for going to the bathroom, so frolicking freely around the yard is
ill-advised. There are also no readily accessible paths/sidewalks/trails that I
could safely tote around the baby and the 3-year-old out here, so if I want to
do something other than observe them play on the playset in yard from the
safety of my lawn chair, I need to load them up into the truck and make my way
to a park or other kid friendly establishment. This presents its own problems
since, A) I am an anti-social motherfucker and I hate being around people most
of the time. B) it takes so long to load the kids up most of the time that by
the time I finally get them and all their assorted crap into the truck, I’ve
lost any and all motivation to go do any type of activity that will require
more energy. And, C) Because I am anti-social as fuck, if I am going to go
somewhere, I want a friend or Mike or someone that I am comfortable around to
be there with me so that I am more at ease with my situation. Otherwise I am uncomfortable
and end up ending activities very quickly the second any human comes anywhere
near my range of visibility. This is hard to work out since I only have about 2
friends and they both have day jobs.
3. Finish
at Lincoln Land and transfer to UIS. This one is kind of a crap shoot goal
since it’s pretty assured that it will happen regardless, unless I for some
reason fail a class, which, lets be honest, being me and all, something fucking
catastrophic went down if I fail a class. I birthed a freaking 9lb stubborn ass
child right in the middle of the semester this past Fall and I still managed
straight A’s at the end of the term. We’ll call it my fail-safe in case I don’t
accomplish any of the other goals. It still sounds pretty impressive even if I
don’t manage anything else, to say “well I got my Associates and transferred to
a university to get my Bachelors.”
4. Blogging
and making videos. This is something I’ve put a good deal of thought into and
have considered doing for awhile. Obviously I’ve already got a blog, but I’d
like to write more, and develop a bit of a reader base. I’m horrible about just
abandoning this poor little nook in the internet when I lose motivation, and in
order to develop a bigger reader base I need to develop it up a bit more, get
some structure up in here, plan out posts, make regular posts, etc. Eventually
I think it would be neat to make a video or two, but I’m not entirely sure I
have the courage for that. The whole reason I like to write is because I don’t
have to speak in order to get my thoughts out. Nevertheless, making videos and
actually putting them out there for the world to see goes along with my final
goal, which is:
5. Being a
little more socially active. I have a hard time getting amped up to do social things.
But I’ve also started to get antsy lately. I hardly ever leave my house, most
of my conversations happen between me and a toddler or a baby or a know-it-all
9-year-old that only listens to me just enough to pick up some key words that
she can develop an argument against, no matter what the topic is. She has a
promising future in politics. I’ve never been very good at being the one to
initiate a friendship with someone, I tend to wait for people to come to me,
but that is hard to do when I live nowhere near viable human subjects, and don’t
frequent places where humans can see me and think “hey I wonder if she’d be
neat to be friends with”. The reality there is, I’m probably not, but I’d like
to give it a shot. I need more adult interaction in my life. Consider this my
cry for help.
And that’s it. 5 little goals. I think I can manage those. It’s
not like I came up with anything crazy, like making dinner before 8:30pm, or getting
my house cleaned up, or washing, folding, AND putting away clothes in the same
day. Or putting away clothes at all. Do people still do that? Like, isn’t that
what laundry baskets are for? Asking for a friend.
Alright, in the interest of accomplishing goal number 4,
and attempting to hold myself to a standard for this here blog, here is what
you can expect to be posted in the next two updates:
·
Rylie Autumn’s birth story. AKA - the super
duper long day that both my dreams and nightmares came true.
·
Potty Training with Connor Lee. AKA – this is
how I die.
