Reflections
It's been a long time since I felt a pull to write out something personal for the public to see. People are so judgmental, so cruel behind their keyboard anonymity, that stating your opinion online for others to evaluate is a dangerous maneuver these days. It becomes open territory, cannon fodder for others to hurl their own opinions at, even if they don't necessarily make sense in conjunction with the original sentiment.
Do you know what I see behind this? People dying to be heard. However they feel they can be. People want to be seen. People feel entitled to their right to say whatever they want and feel however they feel and they want others to acknowledge that that is their right, even if views clash and individual feelings oppose each other. People will argue on social media back and forth until they no longer even make sense. Until the last available option is to attack the persons grammar, or profile, or some other aspect not related to the original topic at all.
When did we become these people? When did we become people that so thoroughly forgot how to show basic respect for others? Do we feel it doesn't count if it's online? Do we feel like if it's on social media it's fair game? Do we think feelings don't exist on the internet or that our words don't hold the same amount of meaning?
You know what I have witnessed over the last weeks? I've witnessed a man become our president that my own feelings about aside, now has the responsibility of leading our country. I've witnessed people turn every day life into a bad reality show. I've witnessed women turn on each other, labeling each other femini-nazi's, or attacking and belittling those that are scared during times that most certainly are nerve wracking and full of insecurities for many. I've witnessed men belittle women's feelings that they are not being fairly represented or treated, I've seen women do the same to other women. I've seen meme's circulate making fun of women that are marching for rights "they already have". I've witnessed women take a firm stance against the feminist movement claiming that it's all a ridiculous finger pointing power struggle, that women are not after equality but superiority. Women in our country are drawing lines against each other.
Why?
Because we have differing views? Shouldn't we all ultimately feel united, men and women alike, in the general idea that all any of us wants is equality with the person next to us? That we live in a country where that is even an option? That we live in a time and place where we are allowed to have different opinions?
Respecting each other is becoming a lost art. Empathy and compassion are becoming foreign ideas if they are supposed to involve any side that opposes your own. For a country full of people speaking out so loudly against hate, all I have seen lately is the spread of it towards anyone that doesn't agree.
People will make assumptions about me based on what I've said here. They will read this small blurb and without knowing anything else will become an authority on me. They will decide what my political views are and what my personal values are, and they will try and find fault with something I've said. And maybe there is fault to be found. Or maybe we have become a society that thrives on tearing others down to build ourselves up. We form big groups of similar ideals and values, and we take pictures and share them on social media to illustrate the support and love we have for one another. And then we attack anyone that says otherwise. We tell others why they are wrong and why we are right. We tell people that they are the ones being hateful because they do not agree with us.
And this is not a new trend. It's just becoming a more and more popular one.
There has long been a division, particularly among women, you're either a breast-feeding mom or a formula mom. You're either a stay at home mom or a working mom. You're either a feminist or an anti-feminist. You're either a conservative or a liberal. You're pro-choice or pro-life. You're team Betty or team Veronica. The gray areas are slipping away, we aren't allowed to blend anymore. We aren't allowed to simply and peacefully agree to disagree.
And we do it all with a self-imposed sense that we must say something at all times. If one person yells, we will yell louder, even if it accomplishes nothing. If one person acts we will act harsher, even if it defeats the purpose of our message.
The big dividing message lately is not to normalize hate. Not to normalize discrimination. Not to stand idly by while these things take over our country and our lives. And we do that by dividing ourselves and tearing each other down. We do that by telling others their feelings are wrong.
Pardon me if I decide not to have a stake on either side of this front. I will stand with those that choose to respect others. I will stand by those that choose compassion over self-righteousness. I will stand by anyone that has enough courage to say, "I may not agree with your views, but I respect that they are yours" "I may not feel the same way, but I understand that this is how you feel". I don't care if you are a feminist. I don't care if you aren't. I don't care if you're religious or an atheist. I don't care if your skin is a different color or if your home isn't on same soil as the country I live in. I don't care if you think meat is murder, or if you find smoking a joint after a hard day is the best cure, I don't care if you're an individual that feels trapped in a body that has the wrong reproductive organs, or someone that finds the same sex to be more sexually appealing than the opposite, I don't care if English isn't your first language, and I don't care if you prefer knitting to crocheting. I stand by people that stand up for people. I stand by people that don't feel the only pathway to being heard and understood is through violating and belittling the values of others. I don't stand by people that hurt others. In any aspect of the word. We do not have to break down others to build up ourselves.
Trump, no matter how much controversy he brings with him, no matter how many questionable things he says, is not going to be the reason we fall apart, we're breaking ourselves apart just fine and have been long before he came along. We're drawing our own lines and now we're simply using one man as the excuse for why. The most defining category of all at this moment, you're either pro-trump or not. But here's the thing...
We are allowed to be different. We are allowed to have different views. And we are allowed to still get along despite these things. What a boring world we would live in if everyone were exactly the same, with exactly the same beliefs, and exactly the same values. What a boring colorless world that would be.
I generally refrain from putting my own views out there on social media platforms. If someone wants to come have a face to face discussion or even a logical argument with me concerning what my views are on just about any topic, that is when I express my beliefs. I'm not saying that this is what everyone should do, free speech is an American perk (as long as you're not the one of the organizations currently under a gag order....), I'm just saying it's something I do, because I recognize that my feelings are very strong about the values that I have and if I'm going to discuss them, then they are important enough to be discussed respectfully and logically and in the correct context. I can get very passionate about my values, and I don't want to hurt someone else because my fingers type faster than my brain can keep up with. If you speak words of love to people while spewing words of hate from your keyboard, the two do not cancel each other out. If you are a parent, think about what you would do if someone spoke to your children the way you are speaking to someone else. Would you be okay with it? If you are not a parent think about how you would feel if someone spoke to your parents, or lover, or best friend, or dog, or anyone/thing that you hold dear, the way you are speaking to someone else. Would you be okay with it? It's really not so hard to take into consideration.
And for good measure, just in case there weren't enough cute/funny/adorable meme's to alleviate the uncharacteristically serious overtone of this post
Do you know what I see behind this? People dying to be heard. However they feel they can be. People want to be seen. People feel entitled to their right to say whatever they want and feel however they feel and they want others to acknowledge that that is their right, even if views clash and individual feelings oppose each other. People will argue on social media back and forth until they no longer even make sense. Until the last available option is to attack the persons grammar, or profile, or some other aspect not related to the original topic at all.
When did we become these people? When did we become people that so thoroughly forgot how to show basic respect for others? Do we feel it doesn't count if it's online? Do we feel like if it's on social media it's fair game? Do we think feelings don't exist on the internet or that our words don't hold the same amount of meaning?
You know what I have witnessed over the last weeks? I've witnessed a man become our president that my own feelings about aside, now has the responsibility of leading our country. I've witnessed people turn every day life into a bad reality show. I've witnessed women turn on each other, labeling each other femini-nazi's, or attacking and belittling those that are scared during times that most certainly are nerve wracking and full of insecurities for many. I've witnessed men belittle women's feelings that they are not being fairly represented or treated, I've seen women do the same to other women. I've seen meme's circulate making fun of women that are marching for rights "they already have". I've witnessed women take a firm stance against the feminist movement claiming that it's all a ridiculous finger pointing power struggle, that women are not after equality but superiority. Women in our country are drawing lines against each other.
Why?
Because we have differing views? Shouldn't we all ultimately feel united, men and women alike, in the general idea that all any of us wants is equality with the person next to us? That we live in a country where that is even an option? That we live in a time and place where we are allowed to have different opinions?
Respecting each other is becoming a lost art. Empathy and compassion are becoming foreign ideas if they are supposed to involve any side that opposes your own. For a country full of people speaking out so loudly against hate, all I have seen lately is the spread of it towards anyone that doesn't agree.
People will make assumptions about me based on what I've said here. They will read this small blurb and without knowing anything else will become an authority on me. They will decide what my political views are and what my personal values are, and they will try and find fault with something I've said. And maybe there is fault to be found. Or maybe we have become a society that thrives on tearing others down to build ourselves up. We form big groups of similar ideals and values, and we take pictures and share them on social media to illustrate the support and love we have for one another. And then we attack anyone that says otherwise. We tell others why they are wrong and why we are right. We tell people that they are the ones being hateful because they do not agree with us.
And this is not a new trend. It's just becoming a more and more popular one.
There has long been a division, particularly among women, you're either a breast-feeding mom or a formula mom. You're either a stay at home mom or a working mom. You're either a feminist or an anti-feminist. You're either a conservative or a liberal. You're pro-choice or pro-life. You're team Betty or team Veronica. The gray areas are slipping away, we aren't allowed to blend anymore. We aren't allowed to simply and peacefully agree to disagree.
And we do it all with a self-imposed sense that we must say something at all times. If one person yells, we will yell louder, even if it accomplishes nothing. If one person acts we will act harsher, even if it defeats the purpose of our message.
The big dividing message lately is not to normalize hate. Not to normalize discrimination. Not to stand idly by while these things take over our country and our lives. And we do that by dividing ourselves and tearing each other down. We do that by telling others their feelings are wrong.
Pardon me if I decide not to have a stake on either side of this front. I will stand with those that choose to respect others. I will stand by those that choose compassion over self-righteousness. I will stand by anyone that has enough courage to say, "I may not agree with your views, but I respect that they are yours" "I may not feel the same way, but I understand that this is how you feel". I don't care if you are a feminist. I don't care if you aren't. I don't care if you're religious or an atheist. I don't care if your skin is a different color or if your home isn't on same soil as the country I live in. I don't care if you think meat is murder, or if you find smoking a joint after a hard day is the best cure, I don't care if you're an individual that feels trapped in a body that has the wrong reproductive organs, or someone that finds the same sex to be more sexually appealing than the opposite, I don't care if English isn't your first language, and I don't care if you prefer knitting to crocheting. I stand by people that stand up for people. I stand by people that don't feel the only pathway to being heard and understood is through violating and belittling the values of others. I don't stand by people that hurt others. In any aspect of the word. We do not have to break down others to build up ourselves.
Trump, no matter how much controversy he brings with him, no matter how many questionable things he says, is not going to be the reason we fall apart, we're breaking ourselves apart just fine and have been long before he came along. We're drawing our own lines and now we're simply using one man as the excuse for why. The most defining category of all at this moment, you're either pro-trump or not. But here's the thing...
We are allowed to be different. We are allowed to have different views. And we are allowed to still get along despite these things. What a boring world we would live in if everyone were exactly the same, with exactly the same beliefs, and exactly the same values. What a boring colorless world that would be.
I generally refrain from putting my own views out there on social media platforms. If someone wants to come have a face to face discussion or even a logical argument with me concerning what my views are on just about any topic, that is when I express my beliefs. I'm not saying that this is what everyone should do, free speech is an American perk (as long as you're not the one of the organizations currently under a gag order....), I'm just saying it's something I do, because I recognize that my feelings are very strong about the values that I have and if I'm going to discuss them, then they are important enough to be discussed respectfully and logically and in the correct context. I can get very passionate about my values, and I don't want to hurt someone else because my fingers type faster than my brain can keep up with. If you speak words of love to people while spewing words of hate from your keyboard, the two do not cancel each other out. If you are a parent, think about what you would do if someone spoke to your children the way you are speaking to someone else. Would you be okay with it? If you are not a parent think about how you would feel if someone spoke to your parents, or lover, or best friend, or dog, or anyone/thing that you hold dear, the way you are speaking to someone else. Would you be okay with it? It's really not so hard to take into consideration.
And for good measure, just in case there weren't enough cute/funny/adorable meme's to alleviate the uncharacteristically serious overtone of this post
here's just one more.
